Bear Wrongs Patiently

Bear wrongs patiently. This is one of the 7 Spiritual Works of Mercy.

Doing anything patiently is not my forte. Bearing wrongs is also not my forte. Combining these two sounds like an internal recipe for disaster. And yet it’s often those areas that our Lord calls us to dive right into, unpack, sit with, and surrender to Him.

So, I’ve been working on this recently. And let me tell you, I think it’d be a great way to grow in virtue… if I could master it.

One of the things I noticed initially was that I genuinely have the desire to do this. But what happens in the moment of the offense is that the rational “I’m going to bear wrongs patiently” part of my brain totally passes out. Like just shuts off. And the emotional “I’m going to show you very explicitly how you are wrong” part of my brain kicks on and reacts before I even had a chance to realize what was happening. I just react SO quickly. Then like the second after, I realize I just missed that opportunity to grow in virtue, and I feel bad and will apologize for what is usually a rude or demeaning response. So I’ve come to understand that my issue personally with this is needing to slow down. Slow down my response time, keep my whole brain engaged, quiet my emotions for a sec BEFORE I respond. My heart is willing but my flesh is weak.

My brother-in-law got married just a few weeks ago out on my husband’s family farm. It is just gorgeous and peaceful out there. The morning of the wedding, I took my daughter and my brother’s dog out for a little stroll down the lane of the farm. It was a quiet cool sunny morning and we had hours to kill. We didn’t have anywhere to go on this stroll or anywhere to be so we walked at toddler-stride speed. I started noticing teeny tiny little flowers all along the lane in the grass and along the old tilled farm land. I was amazed at how I had driven down that lane countless times but had never noticed ALL these tiny little flowers. I started picking them. One of each kind I found. I ended up with over 6 kinds. It was a beautiful little bouquet. Until my 2 year old said “mine” and snatched it out of my hand faster than I could react.

Something about this slow quiet morning shifted something within me. It was like it infused a slower, quieter presence in my soul. Normally I have the hardest time enjoying a journey- I’m a “let’s just get where we’re trying to go” kinda girl. And I’m always on to the next thing in my mind. I think this is why it is harder for me to slow down my response and allow my heart to bear wrongs patiently and humbly. But when I take the time to be present and breathe and walk slowly, my heart shifts to respond in a similar way.